(Break the ) Myths
and misconceptions relating to evaluating
Matrimonial
prospects
Matrimonial match and evaluation as it is practised in
the Southern part of India especially in Tamil Nadu is full of misconceptions
and wrong notions that it becomes the social responsibility of the Astrologer to
highlight the truth and wake up parents
from slumber. In the bargain, I may have upset some of the parents but that is
well worth it. This essay is in the interests of the Parents and their
respective children and not with any ulterior motive.
First, let us look at the broader user-level misconceptions and then we shall get on to
compatibility subjects next.
(I) Horoscopes of Swathi natives (boys or girls born in
Swathi) are exceptional and need not be evaluated at all. They can match with
any other horoscope
(II) Boys born in Bharani (Apabharani) are entitled to
rule the world. பரணி, தரணி ஆளும் !
(III) Girls born in star Moola can ruin her in-law’s
house after marriage.பெண் மூலம் நிர்மூலம்
(IV) Moola born boys will rule the world ஆண்
மூலம் அரசாளும்
(V) Jyeshta born girls will make sure that the
husband’s elder brother dies/ fails soon after the girl’s marriage கேட்டை
ஜேஷ்டனுக்காகாது. Hence
Jyeshta born girls should not be given in marriage to a boy who has an elder
brother
(VI) Ashlesha / Aayila born natives will ensure death
of the mother in law. ஆயில்யம் மாமியாரைக் கொல்லும்
(VII) Natives born in Rohini will cause the death of
the maternal uncle ரோகிணி மாமனுக்கு ஆகாது
(VIII) You could give your child in marriage to even an
animal but not to one who is born in Marghashira / Mrigaseerusham மிருகத்துக்குக்
கொடுத்தாலும் மிருகசீருஷத்திற்கு கொடுக்காதே
(IX) Magha born girls will rule this world மகத்துப்
பொண்ணு ஜெகத்தை ஆளும்
(X) Sravishta / Avitta born girls will make sure that
even the dust-bin in the house is filled with gold அவிட்டத்தில்
பெண், தவிட்டிலும்
பொன் . Other than
this myth, all other myths are degrading on women and only reflects the male
chauvinism of this world.
Of the myths above, how many are correct, 10%, 20%,
40%,60%, 75% or 90% or 100%. No prizes for guessing that the answer is “NONE”.
Each one of the above myths can at best earn a like
in Facebook, from a male chauvinistic
buff. Nothing more. Let us look a little closely at these myths, atleast some
of them.
• By the law of averages, approximately 1/27th of the
world population falls under one star, assuming an even distribution of
child-birth over various days in various years. That accounts for approximately
28 crores.
o That being the case, do we
have 28 crores rulers (because we claim every Bharani will rule the world)
o Or another 14 crores of
male-Moola borns who will rule the world.
o In Toto do we have 42 crores
kingdoms that can be ruled by 42 crore Bharani+Male-Moola natives.
o Not to forget Magha born
Girls who are destined to rule as well
• I have not come across 14 crore families whose
in-law’s families were destroyed , on account of the native being a Moola born
girl
• How many Ashlesha natives have killed their
mothers-in-law ? Or has a Non-Aslesha native not witnessed the death of her/his
in-laws after marriage ?
• Do swathi native’s have two golden horns that they
are beyond astrological evaluation ?
• No Jyeshta/ Kettai born girl has robbed her (elder)
brother – in -law of his life. Kettai in Sanskrit is simply called Jyeshta and
nothing more
• Only one thing which is common among all the above
myths, is that they are rhyming (in Tamil).
o Many of us have interacted with astrologers and
ordinary citizens of neighbouring states
as Kerala, Karnataka, AP, Telangana but nobody seems to know about all these
silly-sayings prevalent in TN. Have the
revered Jamini , Pulippani and Varahamihira scripted separate rules on
astrology, by the state of Domicile.??? One for Tamil Nadu and one for Bihar !
( I can hear you saying “our neighbouring states have other misconceptions” …True)
As the first step, let us remove all generalisations
about stars and believe that all stars are neutral. The astrological charts of
natives are sacro-sanct. Have we not
seen that the twins born two minutes apart, having completely contrasting life
and background. Astrology is too glorious a science that can be confined to
study of Birth- stars alone.
Let us now go to the second half of the story
viz., see how matches are
evaluated. After shortlisting
candidates, based on broad acceptability of their education, employment, family
etc, the parents seek the astrological charts of the bride/ bridegroom as the
case may be.
Typically, the astrological charts are analysed for
compatibility between the boy and the girl.
The most commonly used method in Southern India includes one or both the
steps mentioned below:
1. Patthu Porutham (Ten
matches)
2. Detailed evaluation of the
birth charts for broader compatibility subjects.
The accepted practice is that, of the ten matches, if five to six matches
are there, then it is okay to consider the boy and girl as compatible.
This is done by validating the stars of the boy and the
girl , for each of the points(Nakshatra match, Yoni Match, Varna Match,
Rajju, etc).
• If this statement is valid For a boy, can there be 28 crore matches ? .
• If say, Chitra is a
compatible match for a boy, can that be said that all Chitra born girls will be
compatible with the boy. There could be twins born in Chitra, but how can we be
sure that both the girls will be compatible with the boy !
• If the said Chitra born girl
has a poor longevity and she is to live only for weeks after marriage, what is
the meaning of compatibility !
• Can it be said that all
marriages performed over the years based on 10 Porutham methods have resulted
in harmonious married life or the couples living long happy married life. ?
• Are there not happily
married couple in other parts of the country or world who donot follow
compatibility analysis as we do !
Some of the arguments presented above have wry
reasoning, but they have been said to emphasise a point and not to demean
Astrology, which is on a sound platform.
Let us also look at the other facets of match making.
(1) The element of Almanacs followed: A chart of
a girl may have been found to be compatible with the chart of a boy, based on
the charts exchanged by the parents. If
only both the charts are prepared on the
same almanacs (Panchangam) can there be some method in madness. But we see many
compatibility reviews based on one chart being in Vakya Panchangam and the
other on Drikkanitha (THirukkanitha) panchangam
and this can really provide contrary results.
(2) Dependability of
the birth times used: How are we sure that the birth times available
with the parents based on which horoscopes are made are dependable ? When the
mother delivers the baby, do you think the doctor will be attending the mother
or looking at her watch ? Even if she is watching the watch, what is the
guarantee that her time is accurate and synchronised with the Standard Time
applicable to the country of birth ?
Having said these, not for a moment am I
suggesting parents to ignore
astrological compatibility. I am only suggesting not to get carried away by myths,
misconceptions and clichés .
I am not an authority on astrology but would not be incorrect in making the following suggestions. You may well evaluate the
genuineness of my suggestions before following them:
(1) Donot make compatibility analysis purely based on
birth stars of boys and girls.
(2) Donot get carried away by the compatibility tables
given in entry level astrology books or Panchangam. Astrology is a lot more
than that, and marriage is too important
an event to be decided based on a table in a book.
(3) Ensure that the boy’s and girl’s chart are based on
the same almanac. Drikkanitha or Vakya.
Be consistent . Safer to seek
birth coordinates from parents instead of using the charts given by them.
(4) Ask your astrologer to prepare charts afresh based
on birth coordinates of both boys and girls and draw conclusions.
(5) Choose your astrologer carefully and seek views on
the dependability of the astrologer with your friends and relatives.
(6) An expensive and Busy astrologer need not be the
best astrologer
(7) Decisions based on software / internet based compatibility are similar to
consuming medicines based on what the internet or google says. Google search can throw light on a topic but
cannot give you a solution to a problem. Only a domain expert like a Doctor can
guide you accurately. Online/ Software based compatibility analysis can at best be the first step but cannot be the
decider.
a. Astrological analysis is a subjective matter
and cannot be best done by a software
which uses objective methods of evaluation.
My little experience in evaluating the lives of married
couple indicates that even those whose charts are incompatible, have led a
satisfactory life, primarily because of the greatness of the Institution of Marriage as is prevalent in
India. A successful married life is
signified by compromises and sacrifices, which is the hallmark of Indian
marriages.
Lastly and most importantly, the will of God prevails
over everything. Seek the guidance of the Almighty before you take the first
step towards a fitting match for your child, but at the same time donot ignore
the above suggestions.
All stars are the creation of God and he does not consider any one star
superior or inferior. Let us not be
